Two apologies in one day, well that’s the fast moving world of cyberspace. Well, more a case of how slow is real life compared to the potential short attention span that the web let’s us become obsessed with. And I’m sorry I can’t feed the monster at the speed I want; because I know that people out there are ready to devour the slightest morsel, and I have over a hundred unfinished/unpublished posts.
I’m not ready to criticise those who spend much of their time connected online, sometimes it is a generational thing, others use it as a way to distract themselves from a life that is somehow unfulfilled without a constant distraction. Others find the constant barrage numbing and fatuous.
That difference in pace can make for troubled relationships. I’m not sure if there is a link, but my opinion is that the web feeds the extroverts amongst us, with constant flows of data and soothes the introverts as it allows them to control the rate of exposure to interactions without appearing anti-social.
That is all well and good if we can accept our differences. However, he danger is that all this hinders our socialisation and we fail to realise that everyone else is not the same as ourselves. We lose sight of the reality of the five languages of love and other subtle differences that we should celebrate as we try to turn every relationship we have into a homogeneous reflection of ourself.
I’ll drop in the reference if I can find it; someone once said that cities have taught us how to be intolerant. In cities, of which cyberspace is the largest, we can seek out and surround ourselves with people like ourselves with no need to tolerate someone else’s opinion, politics, religion, dress sense, humour, etc. When you live in a village or small town you have to tolerate these things because there is an economic reality required for being tolerant.
The internet, no fault divorce, maintenance payments and the other economic support provided after a marriage breakdown are just a microscopic reflection of that cultural paradigm. There is no social or economic pressure to learn or be tolerant, you can escape a relationship with less effort than it takes to stay in it (see Efrat’s cloud).
The choice of paradigm is ours. We need to check to see if the one we are living by best leads us to happiness; married or not.